Where did my mind go now?

If you happen to see my mind wandering around would you be so kind as to direct it back to me? While it's nice to be oblivious to the chaos around me, it might also be nice to figure out how to deal with it other than to stare in confusion and drool.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Perfect Relationship

Define a perfect relationship. Everyone has a different idea of what the perfect relationship would be. A few people have actually found the perfect significant other and are as close to the perfect relationship as they will ever get. I envy these people. They no longer have to swim precariously in the deep end of the dating pool. They have found the fish of their dreams.

The perfect relationship. Is it having someone who has the same interests and opinions as yourself? Or maybe someone who doesn't mind listening to you whine when you've had a particularly bad day? Someone who will take on half the responsibility of the household and all things that pertain to comfort and cleanliness? Maybe, just maybe, it's having someone who, no matter what, will always hold your hand and lift you up when even you don't know how badly you need it. Quite possibly, it's none of these. I could be romanticizing something that is just as simple as finding someone you can put up with and who can put up with you.

Everyone has this great idea of what perfection is when it comes to relationships. Are we too hard on people we look at as potential partners in life? When I was a much younger me, I never thought I was. I had a very simple question I would ask myself when I was dating a man to help me decide if the relationship had any longevity. If I answered yes, I would see it through to the end, no matter how bitter that end might be. If I answered no, well, what was the point of going any further? (Romantic, no?) The question, although a little silly, made complete sense in my mind. I would ask myself, "Can I see myself washing this man's underwear every day for the rest of my life?" Yep. That's it. My relationship defining question. It made sense in my mind because, let's face it, washing someone else's underwear can be disgusting at times. Did I find the idea of washing a man's underwear so unappealing that I would overlook all the wonderful qualities they had to offer in other arenas of life and miss out on what could  possibly be the perfect relationship? You betcha. Looking back, I realize that was probably not the best way to gauge how well suited a man was for providing a lifetime of joy, but it worked for me at the time.

So, how do you define a perfect relationship? Maybe it's a matter of redefining your idea each time you meet someone. Tweak your perfect relationship to allow for some wiggle room and see how this new person fits into the picture you've painted in your mind. Maybe the perfect relationship is perfect because the people in them are always allowing for wiggle room. I suppose that could be what they mean by give and take.

Next time, instead of asking myself how I feel about the state of someone's drawers, I'll just sit back and see how the relationship unfolds. Give that wiggle room and watch the show.  Of course, I'm going to have to inquire about his laundry room skills, just in case. Or maybe, I'll just toss the old jockey shorts and buy him some new ones. Give and take. I think I just learned a new trick.

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